Cold Days Lead My Kids to Think of Christmas...And An Opportunity for Those Who Care For Them...

It’s late October. This morning most of New Jersey experienced its first frost. Halloween decorations dominate the landscape. And my most excellent Arts High students are telling me they’re getting that magical question, always welcome from their parents, that usually comes right after “How are you doing in math class…?” That question? “What do you want for Christmas?”

It used to be just that, a question. When I was a kid, it meant different things at different times. Before age 10, I answered by proposing that my mother buy me some kind of board game or bike; after 10 it was a video game console from Atari, by 17 it, of course, it concerned a car. By the time I was in my early 20’s, it had become a kind of embarrassing question, because it could be prefaced by my mother with, “Oh, and by the way, you’re 22 now…what are you getting me for the Holidays?”

Now let’s step back. Why does this much-anticipated question usually occur first in late October in all households around the nation? We all know why. The Christmas present has two rules. Kids can typically ask for a few “little” things, or one “big” thing. We all know how this works. Nobody - especially teens - gets everything they want, because, after all, we’re talking about toys and gizmos and other forms of generalized silliness. And if the request is “big,” then parents and guardians and aunts and uncles need time to save up some real money.

But this year is different, and it has to be. This is because I’ve noticed an unfortunate trend amongst my students’ parents over the past few holiday seasons. Parents mistakenly look at laptops and smartphones and game consoles the same way. They’re all light-up toys and fancy doodads. They all involve teens wasting huge amounts of time listening to rap music or texting inappropriate things to each other. There are, after all, better ways to utilize a teen’s time than spending an afternoon sitting in front of a television, wandering the post-apocalyptic streets of some ruined city, obliterating zombies.

We live in two worlds, teens and adults. They’re the same worlds, even though each world may have different purposes and roles. We all live in reality, but there’s an equally crucial world of growing importance that increasingly determines the line between poverty and survival and prosperity. That world is online. 

I’ve written about it many times before, and it bears repeating. The online world’s dominance over the essential aspects of our lives is an expanding one; it’s not even in the same proportions that it was five years ago. When an adult applies for a job, seeks government benefits, wants healthcare, needs a bus schedule or wants to reach a spouse at work, they turn to the Internet. College applications were once the reserve of thick packets and huge white envelopes; now they’re typically filled out online. Got a question for a teacher? A politician? Your cousin? Email them…it’s all online…and the beat goes on and on…

So let’s return to this “trend” in parental perception and electronic gifts. I do agree with parents that to honor a teen’s request for a $399 Playstation 4 or a $499 “begging session” for the latest Xbox is one that needs to be carefully examined. That’s a lot of money for anyone. And even though these  consoles can do a lot of really cool things, they’re still toys. But laptops and smartphones, now, these are an entirely different category altogether.

As parents and guardians we went to equip our kids to succeed now and in the future. By law, of course, we’re justifiably required to provide them with all that they need, from food to clothing to emotional support. With these thoughts in mind, parents and guardians need to shift the category of smartphones and laptops away from that of “toys” to those of “essentials.” 

It’s true that there’s a lot of game playing and time wasting on such devices, but believe me when I tell you that there is no better way to enable them to interact with the wider world or promote their future prospects than to get them a laptop or a smartphone or both. And what’s amazing - and so many of my parents don’t know this - is that these devices are now dramatically more affordable than “toys” like the Playstation or Xbox. 

The smartphone and laptop market has changed fundamentally over the past two years. Sure, we see ads for super-expensive devices like the iPhone 5s or the top-of-the-line Dell laptop computer. But there is a vast second tier of devices that are far more affordable, durable and available. In fact, they’re last year’s devices or those from the year before that, and they’re just as good and effective as the latest line. You just need to know where to look, and shop.

Here’s a typical example. Last month I was talking to one of my students, Hope, over lunch. Hope had just finished telling me how she answered that once-yearly magical question about her Christmas request. She had informed her Dad that she wanted the iPhone 5s or the Samsung Galaxy Note 3. Now these, the newest devices, cost a small fortune. If you want to purchase them outright, the iPhone 5s costs over $600 and the Galaxy Note 3 will lighten anyone’s wallet by $700. So for a teen’s gift, that’s just not realistic from anyone’s perspective. Needless to say, Hope’s Dad smiled but had to turn her down. “We’re not poor,” he told her, “but we don’t have that kind of money for a gizmo, no way.”

So Hope’s Dad knew the costs of these devices, but he didn’t. I asked Hope if perhaps she knew that last year’s and other later devices were still available for new from retailers. I showed her that the iPhone 4, which is still an amazing device, was available today from a major company for $199, outright. No contract, no nothing. She gasped with surprise, and immediately got on a friend’s phone to tell Dad the news. I think someone will be in for a pleasant “surprise” this Christmas. For any parent, $199 for a yearly gift, with a few month’s notice, is usually doable. 

A few minutes later I was having a similar conversation with Dave, a junior. Dave is a dance major who’s justifiably obsessed with the latest moves. At the same time he knows that he’s got to brush up on the essentials of Dance history in order to get inspired by such past greats as Debbie Allen and Mikhail Baryshnikov. So what did he ask from his parents this Christmas? “I really want the Playstation 4.” Yikes! Mom turned him down, almost immediately, because for a hardworking single mother of two, a $400 toy is just not in the offing. It’s not gonna happen, nor should it. Dave followed up, “Mom did say that for a little less, she’d get me something, if i could prove that it was useful. But she told me that she’s really busy, and may not have time to look at a zillion places.”

Okay, so to Dave’s mom, I float this proposition. We all know that major retail outlets and stores like BestBuy and Walmart carry expensive laptops, but they carry affordable and powerful ones too that were last year’s models. These later models provide nearly the identical experience and power to their users at a fraction of the price. How cheap? Well, even though Christmas competition has yet to heat up, parents can buy a decent laptop, ready to run out of the box, for $299 or less. In fact, one major store just last week was selling a fine Acer model for $270. And again, that is for a new system, not a used or “refurbished” one.  

Now when it comes to these devices, parents and guardians need to remind themselves, or educate themselves, of their specific enabling features. With a laptop and an internet connection, students can read books, conduct research, teleconference over Skype, chat with a friend or teacher, apply for a scholarship, investigate and reach out to summer programs, submit (most) school assignments, send a letter of complaint, etc. And they can do this at all hours, regardless of the kind of neighborhood they live in. Dave was clearly surprised when I told him that with a laptop or smartphone, he could easily access lectures and demonstrations from dance greats living and deceased, usually on YouTube or some similar site. Suddenly Dave’s interest went beyond the Playstation 4. Later on that day I saw Dave in our beautiful, light-filled Media Center (which looks over the entire Newark skyline) working hard on an email to Mom on that laptop.

So to parents, I must say this: for Christmas, if you can, get them something that’s really twenty gifts in one…something that is not a toy, something that will open doors for them in every sphere possible. Get them a laptop or a smartphone. And if you can, don’t even wait ’til Christmas. Get them one tomorrow. These are not toys; they are portals - perhaps the only ones left - to a successful, globally-based, ultra-competitive future.